WARNING some of these jokes are seriously strange...
maybe you can get them.
NEW JOKES HERE but keep them coming!!!
Q: What colour is a hiccup?
A: Burple.
Q: What do call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk...................by MK
Q: What do you call a sheep without legs?
A: A cloud.
Q: What happened to the clock that fell into
the sheepdip?
A: It lost all its ticks.
Q: "What did one sheep say to the other sheep?
A: "After ewe"
Q: What would you get if you crossed a goat
and a sheep?
A: An animal that eats tin cans and gives back steel wool
Q:What is a sheep's favorite newspaper?
A: "The Wool Street Journal"
Q: What would you get if you crossed a sheep
and a kangaroo?
A: A woolly jumper!
Q: Why did the lamb call the police?
A: He had been fleeced
Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and
a sheep?
A: A wrap-around sweater
Q. Why do gorillas have big noses?-------------
A. Because thay have big fingers........by SM
Q: Where is the best place to have a bubblegum contest?
A: On a chew chew train................by LS
Q. What type of phone doesn't have a cord?
A. A mobile phone............................by NS
Q. What do you calll the Eiffel Tower when it falls down?
A. The I-fall Tower.
Q. What gives big hugs and goes great on toast?
A. Mumarlade.....................by MC
Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down yhe hill?
A. To get to the bottom......................by DF
Q. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
A. Because it ran out of juice................by ME
Q. What are birds when they win a competition?
A. Ducky. .....by LB
Q~Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A~Because chickens weren't invented............................by K.B
Q. What do skcud say?
A. kcauq!!............................by AH
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing .............by DC
Q. What did the vampire say when his girlfriend asked him out
A. "No thanks I just ate next door."
Q. What did the fly say when he flew into the wall?
A. If I had any guts id do it again..................................................................by SS
Q.What weighs nothing, you can see it, if you put it in a barrel it makes it lighter?
A. A hole. .............by MC
Q. Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A. Because the chicken had it's eggs. .....................by RWQ.
Q. Why did the astonomer cross the road?
A. He wanted to see stars. ...............by LB
Q. What do you call a person with a pink afro?
A. Fairy floss. ..........by EB
Q. What did the duck say when it laid a square egg?
A. OUCHHHH!!!
Q. What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick.
What did one ghost say to the other?
I don't believe in people.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A Newspaper................ by MH
Q. Why was tigger look down the toilet?
A. Coz he was trying 2 find Pooh! ...............by E&A
Q.What do you get when you cross an elephant and rhino together?
A. ELEPHINO .....................by MH
Q. Why did the bull charge into the car ?
A. because it was red
Q. Why did the bull run off the cliff?
A. because the red car was at the bottom.
If bulls are colour blind, why do they charge at red? ............................by SB
'Hi'
'Hello'
'Who are you?'
'I'm fred.'
'WHAT?
'I said I'm fred.'
'NO YOU'RE NOT - I'M FRED.'
'Well 'bye then.'
'BYE'.. ...............by SG
Knock,Knock
Who's there ?
Cows say
Cows say who?
Cows say moo not who!
Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A. A wooly jumper with pockets
Q. What do you call an elephant that's hanging off a building with its tail?
A. Rubbish
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAVE A LAUGH ............................by BT
(............................????)
Q. What is a horse's favourite sport?
A. Stable tennis! by ...............by AK
There were 3 slaves, an Aussie, a Chinese and an Irishman.
Their master pointed to a pile of sand and said, "Aussie man, you're in charge of shovelling this sand. Irishman you are in charge of scraping up the leftovers and Chinese man you are in charge of the supplies."
An Hour later the master came back and said "Why haven't you shovelled the sand?" The Aussie and the Irishman said "Because the Chinese man didn't give us any supplies." Just then the Chinese man jumped out of the hole in the sand and said "Surplise!"
There was a pirate and a news reporter, and the news reporter asked the pirate 'Why do you have a hook for a hand?'
And the pirate said 'Well one day me and my brother were sword fighting and he chopped my hand off!'
Then the news reporter asked the pirate 'Why do you have that patch on your eye?'
So the pirate answered 'I was standing on the ship's deck one day and I looked up and a seagull poops right in my eye!'
So then the reporter asked 'How can you lose an eye or go blind just by a bird pooping in your eye!'
And the pirate answers 'It's quite easy when you've only had a hook for one day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ' ...............by MB
My joke is: Q.What do you call a grandpa in a canoe?
A.Paddle-pop .....................by MO
Q. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
A. Because it ran out of juice. ............................by ME
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .....................EM
Q~ What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A~ Finding half a worm HA...HA...HA by .....................LK
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side by .....................DC
(Well, somebody had to say it...)
Q. What happened when a dog, a tap and a tomato had a race?
A.The dog was in the lead the tap was running and tomato couldn't ketchup!...............by JV
Q. What do you do if a bl#!@* chucks you a pin?
A. Run because she has a grenade in her mouth. ...............by LS
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ivor
Ivor who?
Ivor a itch - scratch it for me. ...............by TP
Q. What's a frog's favourite year?
A. A leap year by ...............SP
Don't do homework. Teachers can't blame you for something you haven't done. by ...............JD
"Waiter waiter, I have a slug in my salad." "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were a vegetarian" by ...............IT
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No eye deer by ...............NS
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer by .....................NS
Q. What does a lion call 2 people in a jeep?
A. Meals on Wheels by ...............NS
Q. What do pigs put on their sore spots?
A. Oinkment by .....................NS
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Coz the other road was too dangerous. by .....................TC
One day there was a man and he was at the airport and he as looking through his bag for his ticket, but he couldn't find it.
So he went up to the lady behind the desk and said "I left my ticket at home so can I get another one."
The lady behind the desk said "Only if you say a sentence with Yellow,Pink and Green in it."
So he said "The phone goes green green, I pink it up and say yellow." .....................by MI
One morning there was a little red man that got out of his little red bed and then went up his little red stairs onto his little red shower and then he got his little red soap and washed his little red body. Then he got out of his little red shower and put his little red towel around his waist. Then he heard his little red doorbell ring ,so he went to his little red door and opened it and it was his little red newspaper. Then he picked it up and dropped his towel and there was a little red lady over on the foot path. She saw him naked so she ran across the road and got hit by a car.
The moral of the story is, never cross the road when the little red man is flashing. .....................by SH
Q. What do you call a surfing baby that likes peaches?
A. Peach baby. ............................by AK
SILLY PEOPLE
A silly person got locked in toy world and got bored. .....................by BB
A silly person got locked in a supermarket and starved to death ....................................by BK
A silly person got locked in Forty Winks and slept on the floor. by ....................................JC
How many elephants can fit in a car ......4
How many hippopotamus can fit in a car ......0 ....................................by TL
Q. What do you call a dog on a barbecue?
A. Hot dog by .....................AB
Q. How do you spell 'hungry horse' in four letters?
A. MTGG ............................by SS
Q. What do seamonsters eat for dinner?
A. Fish and ships ....................................by LB
did you make it to the bottom???